I receive "I love you" letters from my P4 students. They are very short but super sweet!
P6 disappointed me. They didn't do the work nor do they know how to form the present tense or the present continuous although we talked about that for the last month. When I leave I tell them that this is the first time I am happy to leave their class. They seems stunned and mumble sorry when I pass their rows on my way out.
In the staff room I receive more "I love you letters" and when I'm sitting with a student for his reading exam I hear P4 screaming "Teacher Loreen" but I don't know why.
John (name’s changed) has problems in spelling and writing he was the one who cried last month and he even cried during the spelling exam. Today, I think I have an idea: I let him spell a word and then ask for the pronunciation if the word is easy like ‘it’ or ‘is’ I expect him to pronounce it perfectly. If not it's a mistake. But words like ‘affordable’ don't need to be perfectly pronounced but they are so long that he can't even spell them properly although he is reading the letters from the paper. If he says ‘they’ instead of ‘the’ I write what he said in on different piece of paper to show him the right spelling to the pronunciation. He seems very happy that I give him all the time he needs and encourage him with even the most simple words. When he finished spelling the word I tell him "Exactly, good job. Do you know how to pronounce this?" Sometimes he says ‘no’ but the longer we read he gets more comfortable and says "May I try?" I'm glad he wants to try. It's mostly wrong but he shows that he is eager to learn. I'm so proud of him. Not a single tear and it's even possible to have eye-contact for once. He smiles broadly when we finish and I clap for him. He did a really good job considering the fact that he usually cries and hides his face in his hands. He reached 50% this is still a failure but he usually gets just 40% from any teacher because they let him read but don't bother to correct him since "he has a problem". And if someone reads "comparative" instead of "cooperation" they don't know how to correct it or mark this since this is not just a mispronunciation but a completely different word.
I look at my watch this took 34min. But it were the best 34min he could have as an exam.
MM comes in and says: “You know how to teach. Your previous volunteer didn't.”
I'm felling very very pleased.
I write answers to the "I love you letters" and within 10min the three girls stand in the staff room with their answers at hand. They kiss me and I take out my phone. I need to keep this forever with pictures!
Back in the staff room I see that BM tries Gs suit jacket on and asks me afterwards why sharing clothes is a bad attitude. I say: “I don't know.” I consider Memorial which is the huge market including a big second hand part and I think second hand is a good idea. He puts the jacket of and says: “It can give you skin cancer, isn't it?”
“No, cancer is not contagious."
Oh someone seriously missed a huge part of common knowledge. This together with him last week telling me that the finger tricks I showed the students are sex signs makes me feeling uncomfortable when I think about him being in charge of children… I get the urge to ask the head teacher to quit him or put him as a student in P3 again. Cancer is contagious… honestly.
When I leave the school a P6 student asks me whether I have forgiven them. I am glad that they care about me being disappointed or not. I tell her they have to deserve my forgiveness before I leave. At the bus stop I wait for a DalaDala and when it stops and the conductor opens the door I see that there is nearly no space inside. He tells the other passengers to squeeze together for the Mzungu. I understand this and when I enter I tell him I'm not Mzungu. Everyone looks amazed that I say this in Swahili and smile broadly at me. When I'm home I have to finish my notes from the last two days and I have to wash a lot of my clothes. I'm so exhausted but the memory of my students hugging me and giving me a kiss on the cheek without me doing anything but being present, is the best drug in the world that keeps me working and smiling at the same time.
When we go for dinner it rains. We go without an umbrella but I don't care. I tell J everything that happened and he tells me funny stories about a 5 year old patient at the hospital. We laugh in the rain and enjoy it. Still it feels pretty weird to wash your hands at the same time as big rain drops fall on you. (There is no roof above the tab.)
The next morning, I enjoy the wet ground because it puts the dust together and the air is clear.
GM tells me I know how to dress and he wishes to get a girl from abroad knowing how to dress. Then he asks me whether I have considered marrying a Tanzanian person. He asks me whether I can make some arrangements for him to get one girl. Funny enough BM sits next to us and I tell GM I have a deja-vu because I had the same conversation with BM.
During the lunch break I'm alone in the staff room. I fill in the lesson planer and listen to my music only with one headphone so that I can hear everything around me in case a student needs me. After 20min or so G comes in and sits down and starts playing GTA. The staff room door is open as usual and I'm annoyed because he is a bad role model for the children who pass by and stay in the doorway to watch what he is doing. When I finish filling in the lesson planer I take out my calendar to write my To-do list down. A female teacher comes in and looks at me. She just takes my headphone out of my ear, put it in hers. I ask: “Can you ask first?” and she places them roughly back in mine. In my opinion rude! And outch her fingernails scratch my cheek.
I don’t wan to stay in the staff room all day so I go to P4 and start playing with them and I hug them. I let them play with my hair. They ask me whether I'm going on the trip with them. I say ‘no’ I will go with P5 and P6 if I go at all. As one they scream: "But P6 doesn't have good manners." Hahaha...
When I'm back in the staff room GM asks me what I was doing. I say I'm playing with P4 he asks: “What do you play?” and I answer: “It's called being nice.” I tell him that I talk to them and hug them. “Can I hug you too?”
“Sure, if you want to.”
“No, I'm afraid.” (Obviously he wants me to come to him and hug him now.)
“Oh are you shy?” then I leave.
The other residents of the White House asked during the last days whether we are going to play Black stories again. When we sit down in the evening in the hallway just like last time no one is there but it doesn't matter we didn't expect anyone. We keep on working and when the girl from last time comes she tells J that she asked other people to guess the solution from last week. But they didn't want to think they just tried once and wanted to have the answer afterwards. I say: “That is because of your education here. You are raised to choose one right answer out of multiple choice but you're expected to use your brain after school. That doesn't fit together. Give your children something to work on and to actually use their brain. In school they are expected to repeat exactly what the teacher has said no matter whether the definition with other words would have the same meaning.” J agrees with me and means I'm going to change a lot and it starts with Black stories.
We play "A woman goes in a pub and orders a glass of water. The man behind the counter grabs a rifle and points it at her. She says thank you and leaves." After a few questions one girl asks if she is a thieve. I say no.
“Is there a thieve behind her?”
“No.”
“Is the man a thieve?”
“No, there is no thieve.”
Two guesses later: Does she look like a thieve?
“No.” But now I can’t hold myself anymore and start laughing hard and so do the others.
When we are on our way for dinner I'm supposed to make the DalaDala stop. I say "Oy, conda." To get his attention. A few weeks this appeared rude to me. To address someone by saying "Oy" I can't do that. But I come to realize that those sounds are a big part of the communication here and it's not rude at all. When I tell J about this realization he makes "ah" and I say: “Yes, that's what I mean.” Then we laugh.
I walk to have a nice breakfast. When I walk back I see a DalaDala which says: It easy to me but harder to love me. I laugh and take a picture. When I continue walking a boy is standing at the edge of the street peeing. I am scared to say hello in case he will turn and pee on my shoes…
When we go for the dancing lesson I ask J whether he thinks we are going to meet the girl from last week again. He says the chances are 6%. When we pass the school and the school busses are about to leave J laughs and says we are about to hear that again. The girl from last week says hi. I say hi back and she seems happy. But J is not satisfied, I say: “Be patient.” We pass another school bus it's the same where the children put out there hands last time. Today they say hi and hi over and over again and I reply over and over again. The students I have eye contact while saying hi act amazed like it's super cool to get eye contact with me. We keep walking and J asks me whether I want to shift sides because the students we just saw are all on the right side of the bus and when the bus passes now they are on the "wrong" side. I say no, they will shift. I'm right. When the bus comes by the students shift and say hi again. As the other bus comes by the girl puts her head out of the window and says: “Tell me your name?” J says ‘thank you’ and I scream: Loreen.
When we reach the dancing place a teakwondo competition is on and we bet who wins the next fight.
Two new girls attend the class and our teacher wants to show them the dance. Afterwards one girl says that I'm good and whetherI'm a dancing teacher. I'm super happy and proud of myself. After the dancing class we talk a bit. She works with deaf people and invites us to a work shop which takes place every Saturday where different people come together and exchange experience and show someone else different life skills. We love that idea but my schedule is already so tight. But I really want to attend so I tell J we can go every second Saturday to this workshop and every other Saturday to the orphanage. J loves the idea and we plan to do that. When I complain about no time for my blog entries he remembers me that those are all important things. He is right and I'm so happy to be a part of those things.
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